1. If FaceBook ''status updates'' are any indication, ''swine flu'' is the new ''Lady Gaga.'' God bless faggots; nothing excites them more than factory made pop-music and diseases you can't get from fucking.
2. Last night, I had a dream where Lady Gaga performed a remix-ed cover of "Get This Party Started" at my Super Sweet Sixteen. Afterwards, my mother, Madonna, revealed her gift; a fire engine red BMW roadster with a bedazzled hood. My friends; Lindsay, Brittany and LC, were SOOO JEALOUS. It was a beautiful dream.
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